This post is the second part of a 2-part series about what it means to flourish, and why a flourishing life should be sought after. {In case you missed it, here’s Part 1.} I’ve made a little gift for you {hint: it will seriously help you develop YOUR personal plan for flourishing!} — you can pick it up at the bottom of this post.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve longed to thrive, not just survive. It wasn’t until I reached adulthood that I began to understand how that longing is hardwired into the fibers of my being.
Although thriving has looked differently during each phase of my life — sometimes the desire has been strong; at other times it’s barely detectable way down in the depths of my soul — I’ve always instinctively known that I was created for a flourishing life, and anything less would leave me unsatisfied.
I believe this is something we all know. As I wrote in the first post, God placed into the heart of every human person a primal desire for happiness, so that we would seek Him and the true beatitude of Heaven. We were made for eternal flourishing.
But this vale of tears that we’re in now? Yes! We were made to flourish here, too.
The idea of developing a plan for personal flourishing was first introduced to me when I was taking classes with the Institute for the Psychological Sciences {IPS} a few months ago. The main foundation for their amazing psychology programs is the Catholic Christian vision of the human person.
Simply stated, this vision sees every human person as created in the image of God, made in love and for love, with inherent dignity.
This necessarily means that each one of us is inclined toward flourishing and toward communion with God. We were created with meaning, for a purpose. And we find our fulfillment through developing personal virtue, as well as through the intentional living out of our life calling, or vocation. {This is true for every person, regardless of their knowledge of God.}
IPS also holds the premise that God desires us to flourish in three distinct ways. From The IPS Model {Institute for the Psychological Sciences, copyright 2015}:
The human person is fulfilled through vocation. There are three interrelated types of calling, or vocation.
One: each person is called to goodness, truth, holiness, relation, and beauty, each in a unique way. Two: each person is called to a committed state in life: as single, married, ordained, or consecrated. Three: each person is called to the flourishing that is only found in self-giving service to others [career or volunteer work].
…Each human person is called to flourishing, moral responsibility, and virtue through his or her state of life and life works. …Flourishing is perfection and holiness, through the interpersonal accepting and giving of love.
Flourishing happens when we respond generously to God’s particular purpose for our lives, and give our utmost to all of these levels of vocation.
This is not an easy endeavor.
Sometimes, our lives are naturally conducive to responding positively to these three callings — and striving toward holiness, building our relationships with God and others, and serving our families and communities may not be much of a struggle.
But, it seems that there are many more seasons of life when the demands of everyday living are so heavy that we lose sight of our purpose. We languish when we should be thriving. These are the times that we have to really work to recall what we most want to do with our lives for God’s glory, and to make a plan of action to make that a reality.
Why create a Flourishing Life Plan?
Now I’m a girl who loves a plan. Daily plans, long-term plans, any plans.
I especially love journals and planners and notebooks; I love making goals and dreaming about them; I love writing them down with pretty pens and seeing them in real life, not just in my head.
But oftentimes I get carried away, and I don’t stop to ask myself how my plans fit in with God’s purpose for my life, especially as regards the three levels of my personal vocation.
I need to internalize these words of St. Therese:
Jesus, help me to simplify my life by learning what You want me to be, and becoming that person.”
And really, that is what a Flourishing Life Plan is all about.
Creating a Flourishing Life Plan requires us to examine our lives and souls in deep ways, and perhaps make painful changes.
It compels us to learn to love God’s vision for our lives more than we love our own.
It demands of us that we keep ourselves constantly attuned to the voice of the Holy Spirit, who is always beckoning us to go further up and further in, to attain the fullness of life that God has called us to from all eternity.
To remain stagnant is to resist His loving impulses in our souls.
The Plan
1. To begin a Flourishing Life Plan, first ask yourself what you see as your core values.
Who are you? What is most important to you? What characteristics define you and your way of life? How do you want others to remember you? Knowing the answers to these fundamental questions can help you make virtuous life decisions, choose friendships, strengthen relationships, and seek out the True, Good, and Beautiful in ways unique to you.
Helpful tools for answering these fundamental questions can be found at CoreValuesList.com and the Via Character Institute.
2. The second step in your Plan is to categorize your core values and create a mission statement according to each level of your vocation.
For example, you could ask yourself what you desire most for your personal growth and flourishing. What characteristics do you wish to enhance in yourself to strengthen your virtue? In what ways can you grow in holiness based upon your strengths and weaknesses?
3. Third, take your mission statements and develop long-term life goals from each of them.
When I first completed this exercise back in January, one of my long-term goals was to create a website ministry for women with PPD. If I had not first analyzed my personal path to flourishing, I would have never even decided that such a ministry was a part of my level three vocation — meaningful service to my community. And if I had never taken it out of my brain and written it down in my Plan where I could actually see it and read it, I know I would have never made it a reality. See how it works? 🙂
4. Lastly, look carefully at your long-term goals and break them down into SMART goals.
SMART = Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Bound.
Just in case you’re not familiar with the principle, I’ll break it down for you {and if you are familiar with it, just skip over this!}:
- Specific: you have a clearly defined object to achieve. {Eg: To achieve better communication with your spouse by Thanksgiving of 2015.} Be as specific here as possible; delineate the who, how, by when, and where of your goal.
- Measurable: you know clearly what you expect to see/feel/accomplish after you’ve completed your specific goal. {Eg: Daily, fruitful, meaningful conversations.}
- Attainable: Ask yourself, is it within my power/control to achieve this goal?
- Realistic: Is it a realistic goal to achieve?
- Time-bound: Have I given myself a proper amount of time to achieve this goal?
[For a much better explanation of SMART goals, go here.]
Why is it important to set SMART goals?
According to this compilation of research, goal setting is a “powerful motivational tool” AND
… goal setting operates in ways that provide purpose, challenge, and meaning. Goals are the guideposts along the road that make a compelling vision come alive. Goals energize people. Specific, clear, challenging goals lead to greater effort and achievement than easy or vague goals do.
Hard to argue with that! When it comes to reaching for flourishing, we could all benefit from seeing purpose, challenge, and meaning in our goals.
One more thought.
A flourishing life does not equate a perfect life. There will still be the crazy mess that comes from a houseful of children, there will still be challenges to work out in our marriages, there will still be times of need and fear and sorrow.
What a flourishing life does mean is that we live all of the everyday life moments full on, fearlessly and passionately.
It means we’re aware of all the ways that God is calling us to respond to His invitation for growth in virtue. It means that we strive for a healthy balance in the time and energy that we pour into our marriages, children, family relationships, personal development, prayer lives, friendships, careers, and works of service.
It means that we live and breathe the Sacramental life, where we can touch and taste and see God’s sanctifying and transformative grace.
A flourishing life is a hope-filled life. A life filled with a constant, sweet taste of Eternity.
My friends, if you’ve been in a place of languishing, wandering in dissatisfaction or exhaustion, be encouraged today. God made you for love and for flourishing — beautiful you, with all your dreams and hopes and disappointments and flaws and brokenness — and He will not be satisfied for you until you are fully alive.
What a wonderful post! This is something I think about often without, I think, even realizing I’m thinking about it. I definitely want to THRIVE, do well, and BE the person God wants me to be! Thanks for the reminder and the great resources you’ve provided here. I’m sharing this and pinning some of the images. 🙂
<3 Jamie
For Love of Cupcakes
Thank you, Jamie! 🙂